Dear: [ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Pervert [ ] AOLer [ ] Spammer [ ] Nerd [ ] Freak [ ] Asshole [ ] Idiot (tm) [ ] Troll [ ] Loser I took exception to your recent post/spam to: _____________________________________ (Newsgroup) You will now be flamed because: [ ] You made a ridiculously off-topic post to a newsgroup. [ ] You made a ridiculously off-topic post to several newsgroups. [ ] Your post originated on AOL. [ ] Your post originated on GNN. [ ] Your post originated on Netcom. [ ] Your post originated on EarthLink. [ ] Your post originated from any other worthless excuse for an ISP. [ ] Your post contained numerous spelling errors. [ ] Your post contained numerous grammatical errors. [ ] Your post contained EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION. [ ] Your post contained excessive punctuation. [ ] Your post contained AlTeRnAtInG cApItAlIzAtIoN. [ ] Your post contained 3l3373 7yp1ng, d00d. [ ] You posted the exact same message/reply more than once. [ ] You posted a "test" to a group other than alt.test. [ ] You posted a binary to a group other than alt.binaries.*. [ ] You posted a non-binary to an alt.binaries.* group. [ ] You flamed someone who has been around far longer than you. [ ] You flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you are. [ ] You flamed someone, then contradicted yourself. [ ] You quoted an entire article, only to add nothing. [ ] You quoted an entire article, only to add ___ line(s). [ ] You quoted an entire article, only to add "Me too!". [ ] Or something relatively close to "Me too!". [ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK!" message. [ ] You posted a request for "SEXXY GIFZ". [ ] You posted a request for "AOHell" [ ] You posted a request to mailbomb an address. [ ] And the given address's domain matched yours. [ ] Because you don't know how to mailbomb. [ ] Because this person is obviously far superior to you. [ ] You posted a phone sex ad. [ ] You posted a pyramid money making scheme. [ ] And you foolishly included your own Snail Mail address. [ ] You posted/flamed from an "Anonymous" account. [ ] Which classifies you as a coward. [ ] You phished for: [ ] An AOL "15 free hours" account [ ] An AOL password [ ] A credit card number [ ] Money for a worthless cause. [ ] You suck. [ ] You posted pro-AOL propaganda. [ ] You are Jeff Carpenter. [ ] You posted an obvious troll. [ ] You posted a commercial advertisement. [ ] And it was poor advertising. [ ] And it was for a stupid product. [ ] What you posted has been done before. [ ] More than once. [ ] And it was done much better the last time. [ ] You posted an obvious forgery. [ ] And it was done clumsily. [ ] And it was easily traceable. [ ] And you blamed a relative/friend for the forgery. [ ] It was done to seem that a person who is superior to you wrote it. [ ] Your .sig pisses me off because: [ ] It is more than 6 lines. [ ] Your newsreader truncated it. [ ] It contains a stupid disclaimer. [ ] It contains a stupid, pointless quote. [ ] You attempted to be witty in it and failed. [ ] Miserably. [ ] It contains lame ASCII graphics. [ ] I don't give a shit about your WWW site. To repent, you must: [ ] Keyword Cancel on your AOL account. [ ] Leave this newsgroup. [ ] Learn to type/spell/drool correctly. [ ] Read the FAQ. [ ] Locate a gun, with which you are to shoot yourself with. [ ] Stop reading Usenet groups. [ ] Stop posting to Usenet groups. [ ] Consume excrement. [ ] And thus expire. [ ] Remove your modem and bust it up with a hammer. [ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month. [ ] Take your advertisement and shove it up your ass. Furthermore, I'd like to say: [ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of ____________________ (Newsgroup) [ ] You are a loser. [ ] *plonk* [ ] Grow up. [ ] You're an Idiot (tm). [ ] Get a life. [ ] Go to hell. [ ] Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc... [ ] Get a clue. [ ] Your company should disclaim YOU. [ ] Why don't you see how far your tongue goes into the electric outlet? [ ] Did you mother/test tube have any children that lived? [ ] All of the above. This message has been: [ ] Posted [ ] E-Mailed [ ] Posted and E-Mailed Additional comments: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Excuse me.. Thank you for the wonderful reply sir, I really appreciate it. I must say that you must have a real abundance of free time because you have no life, you fucking computer dork. you are a [x] loser Your mom is a [x] ugly bitch who had an ugly sorry-ass cock of a son. [x] woman who should kill herself for having such an ugly and worthless son. You suck [x] dick [x] your mom's dick [x] your dog's dick I'd just like to say that I can post whatever the fuck I want to on the internet, and I can do whatever the FUCK I WANT!! What the fuck do you care what I do..you fucking LAMER!! I wake up every morning thankful that I'm not such a fucking internet dork like you who can't face reality, so has to subdue himself to posting and fucking on the internet. That's a nice little reply sheet. I bet you spent all of your free time (which you have a lot of since you have NO LIFE, and get NO GIRLS) doing that. Lamer.... ps. YOU ARE A LOSER. You are worthless, you are a dork, and you have no life.