The Final Exam from HELL!
 If you think you hate midterm and final exams, read on, be grateful!
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  INSTRUCTIONS:  Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.
                 Time limit:  4 hour.  Begin immediatly.

  HISTORY:  Describe the history of the papacy from it's origins to
      the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusivly on
      its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical
      impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.  Be brief, concise,
      and specific.
  MEDICINE:  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of
       gauze, and a bottle of scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not
       suture until your work has been inspected.  You have fifteen
       minutes.
  PUBLIC SPEAKING:  2500 riot-crazed aboriginies are storming the
       classroom.  Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except
       for Latin or Greek.
  BIOLOGY:  Create life.  Estimate the difference in subsequent levels
       of human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million
       years ago, with special attention to its probable effect on the
       English Parlimentary system.  Prove your thesis.
  MUSIC:  Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with
       flute and drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.
  PSYCHOLOGY:  Based on you knowledge of their works, evaluate the
       emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed
       frustrations of each of the following:  Alexander of
       Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi.  Support
       your evaluation with quotations from each man's work making
       appropriate references.  It is not necessary to translate.
  SOCIOLOGY:  Estimate the socialogical problems which might accompany
       the end of the world.  Construct an experiment to test your
       theory.
  ENGINEERING:  The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have
       been placed on a box on your desk.  You will also find an
       instrucion manual, printed in Swahili.  In ten minutes a hungry
       Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.  Take whatever
       action you feel appropriate.  Be prepared to justify your
       decision.
  ECONOMICS:  Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national
       debt.  Trace the possible effects of your plan in each of the
       following areas:  cubism, the Donatist controversy, the wave
       theory of light.  Outline a method for preventing these
       effects.  Criticize this method from all possible points of
       view.
  POLITICAL SCIENCE:  There is a red telephone on the desk before
       you.  Start World War III.  Report at length on its socio-
       political effects, if any.
  EPISEMOLOGY:  Take a position for or against truth.  Prove the
       validity of your position.
  PHYSICS:  Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an
       evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on
       science.
  PHILOSPHY:  Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its
       significance.  Compare with the development of other kinds of
       thought.
  GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:  Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.