Clinton Jokes
                               =============


           What he Says                        What he Means
	   ------------                        -------------

  My fellow citizens              Suckers

  I didn't inhale                 I think you're all idiots

  goals                           lies

  broad-based contributions       taxes

  investing in our infrastructure pork-barrel spending

  spending cuts                   decimating the military

  jobs program                    military base lay-offs

  Vietnam                         where?

                                  the first semi-qualified woman
  Attorney General                I could find without a criminal
                                  record

  God bless America               God help us, 'cause I don't have a clue

  Fairness                        screw all of you

  I feel your pain                and I like it

  Economic program                see investing in our infrastructure

  diversity                       millionaires

  opportunity                     federal handout

  compassion                      see opportunity

  crime                           gun control/ban,
                                  ref Attorney General

  deficit reduction               see goals and Economic program

  foreign policy                  see Vietnam and spending cuts

  Health care reform              nepotism,
                                  ref broad-based contributions

Q: What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
A1: Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.
A2: One has two boobs, the others *are* two boobs.

Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow?
A: By the wise look in the eyes.

Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton from a bunch of dead bodies?
A: He's the stiff one.

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo can only screw one person at a time.

Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying?
A: Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this
one.

A man was walking along when he spotted a small boy busily constructing
something. He approached the boy and was shocked to see him playing with
cow manure! For lack of anything better to say, he asked, "Little boy, what
ARE you doing?" The boy replied, "I am making George Bush, Mister." Now
thoroughly taken aback, the man asked, "Why are you making George Bush? Why
not make, er, Bill Clinton?" The boy answered, "Oh no Mister, I can't make
Bill Clinton." "But why not?" asked the man. The boy replied "Well, Mister,
there isn't enough bullshit here to make Bill Clinton."